Regular readers know that in May, just before giving a dinner speech, I learned that my younger brother Steve had died that day. I blogged about how I’d hardly known him, and my sister Suede (much closer to his age) replied about what a loss that was. Lots of you commented, here and on Facebook and email.
Separately, last week I posted that after years of wanting to be a Parrothead, I’m finally going to my first Jimmy Buffett concert Tuesday night. I blogged about wanting to learn everything I could about Parrothead culture.
Suede wrote again – and guess who was a bigtime Parrothead:
Steve
You will have a blast. Too bad stevo isn’t around…he was a huge, huge buffett fan and knew every single piece of exactly what came with it. … he loved having all the back story and history on everything that got his attention, researched that tirelessly, then loved to tell all of it to anyone willing to listen. He knew all there is to know about jimmy buffett, I’m pretty sure … have a blast.
What do we lose when we don’t speak our wants to our families? And when we don’t listen to them? One of Buffett’s biggest songs is “Cheeseburger in Paradise” – and I thought, “Paradise Lost.” What I’d longed for (in silence) was under my nose, and now it’s gone.
Well Stevo, here’s to you – here’s to the tailgating we never shared. I’ll make it a good one and think of the elbows we never bent.
I often compare the “listen to patients” movement to other social movements from my delightfully long life. :-) One of the folk songs of my adolescent years was Bob Dylan’s “The times, they are a-changin’.”
And so they are.
Last fall the Institute of Medicine – the pinnacle of academic medicine – published a major report, Best Care at Lower Cost, which I’ve mentioned here repeatedly. Assembled by an absolutely blue-ribbon team, it has many quotable items, but my favorites is this: (Page S-11, page 34 of the PDF)
Patient-Clinician Partnerships
Engaged, empowered patients – a learning health care system is anchored in patient needs and perspectives and promotes the inclusion of patients, families, and other caregivers as vital members of the continuously learning care team.
Read that carefully. A lot of people who work in medicine don’t yet know about this report, and many who do haven’t yet had it sink in. A perfect example is Medicare, with their well-meaning paternalistic project “Partnership for Patients.” Note: it’s a partnership for patients, which is not something you’d say if you thought of patients as someone who’s on your team.
I’m goin’ to a Jimmy Buffett show, and I need help stat!
Click image or here for an 8 minute video of live performances of “Fins” and “Son of a son of a sailor”: Yeah, that's a Fins license plate from my home state!
Five years ago this month, August 2008, it was a year since my final treatment. I’d beaten cancer and had spent a year wondering “What next? What will I do with my free replay in life??”
What had I always said I’d get around to, someday? In a flash it came to me: Parrothead!!
But there were obstacles. First was the cost of tickets – I was fresh from cancer and a house-sale disaster. Next was that every time I learned about a concert it was already sold out. Then were my three years of being a start-up, with no money for luxuries.
Last winter I realized I could afford it – but again, every time I found a concert it was sold out. What to do?? In early January I did what everyone modern does – turned to social media. I asked Twitter:
Introducing Alicia Staley @Stales as a sometime writer here!
Dave will make two appearances on the radio today and tomorrow, with podcast recordings online afterward. Listen in as Dave talks about some important topics facing patients these days.
KJZZ is an NPR station serving the Greater Phoenix, AZ area. Airing today at 5 PM ET, listen to “The Show” with Mark Brodie and Steve Goldstein as they discuss ideas around carrying your health data. Dave was interviewed by Nick Blumberg about carrying your health information on a USB stick. Listen in and let us know what you think!
Dave will be a guest on tomorrow’s Patient Safety Radio with Pat Rullo. Pat hosts the “Speak up and Stay Alive” Patient Safety Radio series. Dave will join Pat and talk about Shared Medical Appointments. Listen to a sneak preview of the show, or join in tomorrow to listen to the whole show.
It took a month to get through the first five posts in this series, all based on the notes Randi Redmond Oster took from one thirty minute phone call. THAT’s getting value out of a conversation.
And that leads to this next point, which is short and simple. As you consider what to say to your audience, ask yourself this:
What could be said that would make any difference?
You may get frustrated by this – you may think people should think the way you do, or you may think people should want to hear what’s on your mind. You’re welcome to those feelings; heaven knows I’ve had them. But my point here is: if you want to make a difference in the world, by speaking, you better think about what could make a difference.
A lot of speeches I hear seem to have been written without wondering about that. Except for purely academic events, it’s not enough to recite facts. In academia it’s okay to say “I presented the facts – my work is done.” But if you’re advocating – if you want to change the world – that’s not enough. For instance:
If you’re new to this series of advice to speakers, read the initial post, and it’ll help if you follow the chain.
It’s been three weeks since this series went on hiatus. This post is the fourth to come from notes taken by Randi Redmond Oster. And this post springs from advice given to me by Kent Bottles MD, whom I mentioned yesterday on pricing. (That’s him speechifying, at right.)
In addition to counseling me about price integrity, Kent’s the one who taught me that it’s my responsibility to find out what’s on the organizer’s mind – which often involves helping with the exploration. As I said in #2, “two thirds of good speaking is good listening.”
